Common misspelling of the work 'almost'

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

It's an achronym, often used in online convorsations, meaning one of two things:

1. "A Ludacrisly Mega Super Orgasmatastic Thing"

2. "A Large Marmaladeded Sexually Orgasmed Tit-disease"

Two is the lesser used version.