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The male version of a camel toe where you can see the outline of the dudes junk from pants that are too tight.
Dude, check out Tim's Almond Joy. No wonder he's always depressed.
by Duane Ball May 17, 2004
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May 27 Word of the Day
The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika May 30, 2006
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2
The act of deceiving a receptive sexual partner into thinking you're unwrapping and putting on a condom, while in reality you're simply unwrapping and consuming a candy bar. Success depends in large part on your partner's non-visualization of your hands and penis, either by means of a darkened room or sexual positioning (e.g. doggy style), as well as lack of familiarity with the feel of a bare vs. sheathed penis. May be additionally satisfying if you're able to consume the candy bar while actively having bareback intercourse.
"Sarah was drunk and totally DTF last night, but I didn't have any jim hats on hand, so I just turned off the lights and pulled an almond joy."

"My blind girlfriend was a virgin before we dated, so I felt pretty comfortable giving her an almond joy without risking an STD."

That dude doesn't like to bareback, but he's so high on ecstasy he doesn't even know that the guy behind him just slipped it in almond joy style.
by SchlitzKicker January 09, 2011
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3
A man's "package" in his pants. Like a ladies "Camel Toe"
His pants are so tight you can see his almond joy!
by Joni Simpson November 12, 2003
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4
When you cum in a black girl then stick your balls Inside of her.
"Man I love to almond-joy Monica,it feels weird on my balls though."
by Fusheggi November 12, 2014
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5
A situation in which a man's testicles might shift to a position that is very uncomfortable and requires adjusting.
Rick totally forgot how deep my car seats were the other day and gave himself an almond joy.
by destructoid user February 24, 2008
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6
To ejaculate on a piece of fecal matter, preferably human feces.
Jhon: Richard! Did you make another almond joy in the bathroom?
Richard: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.
by Lemonade Man420 April 22, 2020
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