Guy 1: What did you do last night?
Guy 2: I gave myself a Kenny Turner.
Guy 1: how did that work out for you.
Guy 2: It was great till I got a G.I. Joe stuck in there.

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”