“You’re late,” spat 4Chan, it’s voice venomous. “I know,” responded Tumblr, “but at least I’m fashionably so.” It gave the older website a cheeky smile. 4Chan grimaced. “I don’t think you understand how much I hate you,” it whispered, with as much menace as it could possibly muster, “your users are the cancer killing the internet. If it weren’t for our desire to build better public relations, we would never have been willing to discuss this truce with you.”

“Come now, Channy,” said Tumblr “we aren’t really all that different.” It paused for a moment and looked down at its shoes. Upon looking up again to meet 4Chan’s gaze, its eyes were glassy and its pupils appeared dilated. “Some of us,” breathed Tumblr “even admire your outrageous sense of humor, meme taste-making abilities, and abundance of cat macros. If anything, we’re jealous of you.” Before it could form any kind of response, 4Chan’s mouth was seized up by Tumblr’s in a passionate crushing of lips. The younger site kissed with the kind of longing born from buying into the sentiments of too many Bright Eyes songs. With horror, 4Chan found itself reciprocating, even fisting its hands in Tumblr’s hair. When the two finally broke apart, the younger site whispered, “Come on baby, let’s find a room. I wanna /b/one you all night long,” and for the first time, 4Chan found itself lacking the definition of air.
-4chumblr from the internet

"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"

Dear lord, 4chumblr truly spells out the end of days.

Girl: 4Chumblr is my OTP!
Girl2: Same here! They're so cute together!

The fuck is 4chumblr?