11:11 PM. Not the real 11:11. Wishes should be made at 11:11 AM if they are to come true. All you people wonder why your wishes don't come true. It's probably because you are wishing at the wrong time. There is only one 11:11.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.