When you're rubbing your genitalia on your man's face and he says, "Mmm, tuna on toast," but you mistakenly hear, " Mmm, 2 dollar toast," and get all crazy and google the definition on Urban Dictionary because you swear it means something nasty but you find nothing so you make up your own definition.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.