Angry wank

To completely explode and spew ones anger in the face of an unwitting person

Charisma had an angry wank when Judy commented on the redness of her hair after she had accidently dyed it that colour.

by 1 Toy Maker June 3, 2018

Immersive Wank

The act of using noise cancelling headphones to watch pornography while masturbating in order to feel more involved. This can also be levelled up by adding a VR headset.

I had a cheeky immersive wank earlier, it really felt like Cindy was moaning right in front of me; I came so much quicker!

by Cheddar Brie Jealousy December 17, 2019

Lang Wank

A method of masturbation whereby the masturbator uses a traditional one-hand grip on the penis, while inserting the thumb from his other hand up his anus. Due to the slightly uncomfortable positioning, this practice can mean the participant takes a "long"time to complete the wank to satisfaction.

This method was apparently first seen performed in Scotland and in recognition of this, the Scottish word for Long, "Lang" is used.

I just had a lang wank, but boy, my arse is a little tender now and I can no longer bring myself to smell my thumb.

by The Artful Fudger December 13, 2010

Shame wank

When you wank for so long and you have used up all your acceptable wank fantasies. You must then journey to the dark side of the wank, which is full of all the good looking people just too young to go out with in school.

Oh shit, there goes my last valid wank fantasy. I should stop before this turns into a shame wank.

by ShammyDooWop August 23, 2016

Post-wank

When you keep jacking off even though you already came.

George jizzed everywhere but continued on in post-wank shame.

by Dickweed McGee May 3, 2014

wank the crank

Grammatically correct term for mastrubation. Wank is the verb preceding crank (noun.)

A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.

Billy's grandmother nearly fainted when she saw him wank the crank to the nude pygmies in the National Geographic.

by Macsloan October 19, 2019

Zombie Wank

The act of a zombie forcibly removing its penis (easily done due to the rotting flesh), and then rapidly inserting the hole where the penis used to be

Zombie 1: “Arrrggh” *Wow I just had the best zombie wank ever!*

Zombie 2: “Argh” *Yeah thanks that was mine*

by Lezo August 25, 2021