A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.
Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.
Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.
Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.
by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012
Get the Wank Window mug.by el foldo December 1, 2011
Get the Status Wank mug.An office/gaming chair that's also used for masturbation, particularly if the chair is worn out or in poor condition.
I walked in on Steve sitting on his wank throne, hastily stuffing his boner into his draws with hentai on his Chromebook screen. DESGUSTANG!
by JEFF_BENZOS August 29, 2019
Get the Wank Throne mug.Dude, I tried so hard to get my old lady to give me a blumpkin. She wouldn't go for it so I had to settle for a stank wank.
by Chykaty chyna December 3, 2016
Get the Stank wank mug.A method of masturbation using just the thumb and a downward facing open palm in sharp thrusts from the elbow away from the body
by Currant bunman May 24, 2015
Get the German wank mug.When you finish masturbating and realise that what you just jerked to was extremely odd.
You’re not you when you’re horny. NoFap. Don’t bust a nut.
You’re not you when you’re horny. NoFap. Don’t bust a nut.
“Mate, I went onto the Rule 34 website last night. I saw some shit.”
“I bet that was a serious case of wank regret.”
“I bet that was a serious case of wank regret.”
by Y’know we stay t1tty December 18, 2017
Get the wank regret mug.When a male has a wank staring at himself in the mirror, usually accompanied with positive remarks "you're a fuckin good looking bastard"
One would engage in such activities to build confidence within themselves as an alpha and also in the bedroom.
One would engage in such activities to build confidence within themselves as an alpha and also in the bedroom.
by M3n1s January 11, 2022
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