Wank Shuffle

Imagining an object of desire during masturbation and then deciding to switch focus on a different source of inspiration. E.g An ex-girlfriend gets replaced in imagery for the office hottie. Beware to not allow an image of a grotty rotter in while locking on

I can't dedicate this one to one woman, I'll put a few on wank shuffle

by Nested Elevator January 6, 2018

Beast wank

The act of spaffing into a carrier bag, 6 or 7 times a day. Usually performed by a spaff beast.

Craig, you spaff beast. Stop having a beast wank into that Sainsbury's bag for life and come for a beer.

by RossMcC March 30, 2011

Freedom Wank

When a relationship is dead & buried, release those feelings of sadness & heart break...
Knock out a freedom wank & celebrate a new chapter, the return to single, the return to FREEDOMMMMM!!!

Note: Think of someone hotter than your ex.

Guy 1: Dude, are you o.k? You were totally depressed about splitting up with your ex.

Gut 2: Man I'm cool! I knocked out a Freedom Wank & now I am FRRREEEEeeee! Yeeee haaaaa!

by Fake_SJB October 15, 2010

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

Revision Wank

When you're revising surface anatomy and you see boobs which causes you to go on porn and wank.

"I had to revise last night but it just led to a revision wank"

by superdude3435 May 11, 2010

Salty wank

To relieve yourself with a wank after getting fucked in a game of league of legends or fifa

The welsh call it "jini ffernac"

"Fuck I just got my ass kicked in fut champs im gonna have a salty wank"
"I just got fucked in my lane im gonna have a salty wank"

by Corronica April 16, 2022

Tom Wanks

It is said of a male person continuously having the urge to masturbate in public places when in good company.

1. Did you see John last night in his office? He was masturbating again! He's such a Tom Wanks.

2. Paul, if you really have the urge to masturbate or to workplay, please go to the bathroom and lock it! Don't be a Tom Wanks.

3. Man, always when I go out with you guys to the cinema I feel like needing to masturbate when the movie starts. You may be right, I might be a Tom Wanks.

by LCFO December 9, 2021