dry douche

a method of speaking to a person in a tone and manner that causes said person to believe that the speaker cares, is friendly, and is sensitive to the person's emotions/needs. But when 'you' step back and really think about the words being spoken, the speaker is actually being a complete ass and telling the person that they need to go fuck themselves.

The officer just dry douched that suspect.

by Kwaz8 July 13, 2014

Douche Paddle

Someone who is bigger then a douche bag, yet smaller then a douche canoe. Thus meaning the Douche Paddle For the Douche Canoe.

Person 1 - 'Alright, you get half a quarter of my burger.'

Person 2 - 'Dude I haven't eaten since yesterday!'

Person 1 - 'Too bad, fag.

Person 2 - 'Dude you are such a Douche Paddle.

by JezzInMyPants November 1, 2009

blue douche

after Election Day 2018 when America partially rid itself of incompetent racist complicit cheating republicans

2018's Midterm Elections' Blue Tsunami was actually a blue douche where a good portion GOP fuckers were flushed out for a new Democratic congress

by Uncle Joosie May 3, 2019

douche hammock

A street legal 'monster truck' that never actually sees work or dirt. Inspires the question 'how did he climb into that?'. Virtually always driven by a male (the 'douche'), driver rarely seen with a collar or without head gear of some sort (ball cap or cowboy hat preferred). Extra credit for diesels, especially with the 'stacks' coming up through the bed behind the cab in an attempt to replicate the look of an 18-wheeler, ironically rendering the vehicle even more useless.

"I can't see anything in front of me because this douche hammock is blocking both lanes." (coughing on diesel smoke)

by talltimo October 25, 2011

douche nozzle

Someone that either gets on your nerves or is just a fucking bag of douche. You know that one person. He's even more of a douche than a douche bag, he's a douche nozzle. He has no idea that he's being an idiot and is not suave in any way.

Person 1: Jim talked my ear off about his "episode" last night with Sheila with all the gory details. Fuckin' skank.

Person 2: What a fuckin' douche nozzle!

by Not1douche March 4, 2009

field of douche

Describing any party heavily populated with douchebags to the point where one will literally be covered in douche upon entering. Such occurrences have begun to happen with increasing frequency, as teenagers become more violently attracted to rap, arrogance, and a penchant for acting knowledgeable, despite evidence on the contrary. College students, particularly, are quite susceptible to this behavior. Hence, nearly any college party can be likened to a field of douche. Avoid high school parties unless your whole body is as dirty as a rotten vagina.

I entered a field of douche with a raincoat and hid under it most of the time in fear, constantly citing one of Marlon Brando's famous lines in the film, Apocalypse Now: "The horror..the horror!"

by friend of bob June 19, 2004

total douche

A total douche is a phrase used to define a douchebag who has done a douchebaggish thing to you, personally. It's a synonym for douchebag but total douche has a lighter feel to it and it's not as serious. It's more often than not used when talking about a person when they're not around.

That ass thinks he's always the shit around me. He's a total douche.

That bitch fired me for no reason. What a total douche.

by RDK December 9, 2007