I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.
John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."
John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."
by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012
Get the mind-masturbating mug.When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina June 3, 2018
Get the Masturbation Paralyzation mug.The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.
"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."
by JaxMP August 8, 2018
Get the Lazy Masturbation mug.Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.
by Podesta XD June 9, 2018
Get the oregon masturbator mug.by Polemuncher May 14, 2016
Get the status masturbation mug.Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.
Ayn: To love is to value.
Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.
Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.
Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.
Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.
Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
by Patriot-X April 25, 2010
Get the intellectual masturbation mug.The act of when multiple (useally the homies) people mainly of groups of three or more masturbate within the same room.
Or in a circle although that is mainly referred to as a circled jerk
Or in a circle although that is mainly referred to as a circled jerk
Homie #1: group Masturbation begins in eight minutes
Homie #1: Nevermind everyone, Kyle snitched
Homie #2: fuck kyle
Homie #3: yeah that fucking bitch
Homie #1: Nevermind everyone, Kyle snitched
Homie #2: fuck kyle
Homie #3: yeah that fucking bitch
by BoredToHell2 December 18, 2021
Get the Group Masturbation mug.