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academic masturbation

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.
This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.
by bob seeply December 13, 2016
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holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction
Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.
by Dman1011 February 21, 2023
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Ego masturbation

When you lack confidence and need some stroking to make it stronger, better
Ego masturbation is giving yourself praise when you actually suck so bad at it.
by Onezeen August 6, 2019
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Masturbation-Probation

A Chance To Redeem Yourself During No-Nut-November.
BIGGIEYYY: No! I Just Failed No-Nut-November!

Madajio: Chill Dude, Your Just On Masturbation-Probation Now.
by Madajio Júan-Pablo December 24, 2021
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email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.
Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.
by fbunky November 14, 2013
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Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.
His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.
by LemmyForever December 19, 2021
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tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time
damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation
by brysonnn November 28, 2022
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