turd texting

Texting on your cell while taking a dump.

David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.

Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"

David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"

by LouWho December 9, 2008

turd for brains

turd for brains one who is an idiot or is extremely stupid a non vulgar less offensive way to call someone a shit for brains when calling someone a shit for brains want do or is not appropriate

my neighbor turned his dogs loose to shit in my yard and he refuses to clean it up what a turd for brains

by littlejimmie April 27, 2019

turd laces

A very thin in diameter, unsatisfying dumpski. Usually preceded and followed by multiple farts.

Dude, I sat down to drop a deuce, but all I got were turd laces.

by Big Daddy Steve August 15, 2007

Rosey Turd

Someone who thinks their shit doesn't stink.

Sonya is such a rosey turd.

by Claudia_____ May 13, 2010

Turd Chimney

(1) Your Colon or Large Intestine.

(2) The place where all your poop gathers before expulsion.

(3) Where turd burglars go to loot.

(1,2) I have to take a dump; I can tell because my turd chimney is full
(3) He got so drunk last night that his turd chimney was chimney swept by a flesh pole.

by Beneatin Mypussilini July 19, 2010

Turd Bomb

When you keep a picture of a turd you have taken or downloaded on your phone in order to bring up when someone sitting next to you in any event or location is looking at what you are doing on your phone. It's a shocking reminder that they should not be snooping, and they should mind their own business.

"Oh that's a picture of a Shit I took this morning... You've just been TURD BOMB(ED) i thought since you where so interested in what I was doing on my phone you would be happy to know that I am also regular

by Louie!!!!! August 19, 2013

turd inspector

Accidently swallowing something valuable so you have to wait till poo time to go looking for it.

My girlfriend likes to suck her fingers when we have sex. She plays with herself so her juices are all over her fingers but the other day she swallowed her ring and guess who had to be the turd inspector ?!

by AGnumbnuts November 16, 2011