Masturbation-Probation

A Chance To Redeem Yourself During No-Nut-November.

BIGGIEYYY: No! I Just Failed No-Nut-November!

Madajio: Chill Dude, Your Just On Masturbation-Probation Now.

by Madajio Júan-Pablo December 24, 2021

metaphysical masturbation

When you find your way from day dreaming about sex to full on intercourse with your mind. No touching of the genitals. Just that pure, raw, emotional feeling. Your internal love is enough to propel you to climax. Usually done whilst laying in bed, thinking about a significant other or a crush.

I love her so much, whenever I think about her I find myself endulging in metaphysical masturbation.

by JGUMBY April 16, 2019

gravitational masturbation

When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets

Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system

Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison

by looneylobs August 5, 2017

masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.

Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.

by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022

mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.

I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."

by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012

Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.

"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"

by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

Masturbation Paralyzation

When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!

by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina June 3, 2018