hand-job

When a girl of if you are gay, a guy jerks you off my simply rubbing their hand all over your dick and you feel this really good feeling when it happens

WOW THAT WAS A NIIIIIICE HAND-JOB

by pseudonym ツ October 20, 2020

halo hands

A series of unsightly abrasions to the hands and wrists as a result of frequent contact with a hard surface such as a wall or floor. Commonly found in people with short tempers or Halo 3.

Bob: "Dammit dude I died again!!" (smashes ground)

Jimmy: "You should really learn to control your temper: your hand's lookin pretty bad"

Bob: "Yup, the doc says I got halo hands and theres no known cure... Now shut the fuck up and let me play!" (dies again)

Bob: (Towards tv monitor) "You fucking faggot, I was arguing with this deuche sitting next to me!!!"(pounds tv monitor)CRUNCH!!!!....

Bob: Oh fuck, I broke the tv. I've really gotta get some help for this."

by MR. AWESOME!!! March 17, 2008

shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

short hand

a meaningless promise of support

this isn't a short hand surprise

by dbo35 January 17, 2009

penis hand

when one touches their penis and scrotum with their hand and then wipes it on another's face

Brown Starr just gave Betsy penis hand.

by Walter Jenkins March 2, 2010

ginger hand

its like a pimp hand but 10 times better and can only be used by a ginger.

Samuel used his ginger hand on Collin for making a yo momma joke.

by Gingeroligist June 29, 2011

Naughty Hand

One's dominate or preferred hand used to masturbate and self-gratify.

I need to wash my naughty hand. My fingers are sticky.

My naughty hand is numb after ten hours of watching internet porn.

Your mom showed me what she likes to do with her naughty hand.

by Eaton Holgoode April 18, 2017