open says me

It's actually open says me instead of open sesame

What's the magic word...open says me

by Pseudonyms real name... May 31, 2018

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

Popularized by the movie, "The Heathers", this phrase is said in response to a request one deems impossible or absurd (much like being gently fucked with a chainsaw). It's basically a way of showing someone how ridiculous what they've just asked sounds.

Ex.
Veronica: “Why can’t we talk to other kinds of people?”
Heather Chandler: “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?”

Dylan: "Hey Nick can I borrow your car once its out of the shop?"
"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. You crashed it just last week!"

by Cotbumm July 21, 2016

cry me a river

one of worst songs ever by one of worst singers ever ... i hope i will never hear it again

the 69 eyes's song is better... it goes "bleed me a river" ... yeah...

by iva August 22, 2004

fuck me up the ass and call me your bitch

When someone bamboozles you, being bamboozled

When someone makes a fool out of you

Declan: I told you Dave, she sent nudes to five other guys. You owe me five bucks!
Dave: Well Fuck me up the ass and call me your bitch!

Dave: *Hands over a crisp 5 dollar bill

by DirtyDave42069 March 8, 2017

Surprised the hell out of me

Well, as you could probably guess it means that you are surprised. But it’s surprised in BIG CAPITAL LETTERS with explosions, earthquakes and tidal waves followed by a total eclipse of the sun. It’s the sort of surprise that you would feel when as you were feeding your cat she looked up at you and said “You’re fucking joking! I’m not eating that; it looks like puke and smells like shit! Get me some chicken or a piece of oak smoked ham, you arsehole.”

Malcolm actually did something right first time, it surprised the hell out of me.

by AKACroatalin December 15, 2016

Give me your face

A demand that an opponent submits to one's superiority. To be shouted directly before or after an act of excellent skill during a competition, fight, or day-to-day life.
Derived from Optimus Prime's brutal slaying of The Fallen.

Optimus Prime: Give me your face
*Optimus Prime cuts off the Fallen's face*

*Person 1 scores a perfect victory on Street Fighter 2*
Person 1: Give me your face

Person 2: Give me your face
*Person 2 pots two balls in one shot*

Person 1: Wow, you were really good in there
Person 2: give me your face!

by buskalilly July 3, 2009

Karma made me do it!

A phrase to be used whenever a high-powered excuse is needed for one's own questionable, regrettable or just plain dumb-ass behaviours or decisions.

Its use indicates the speaker fervently hopes for gentle absolution (translating in their mind as more chances to repeat the same dumb behaviour), whilst revealing him/herself either as a good-humoured rogue at best, or at worst a pretentious, haughty seeker of camouflage for impulsive, greedy, self-centred, weak-willed and purely selfish behaviours.

Woman : "I can't believe you've been fucking Julia again! How many times do I have to tell you never to go near another woman! We're married, got it??"

Man: "Wait, wait! Karma made me do it! It wasn't my decision, please forgive me! My swami says I've been cheated-on hundreds of times in my previous lives. The Universe demands balance. That fling with Julia is just The Universe harmonising itself!"

Woman: "Sure ain't no harmony here, you pathetic shit. Get the fuck outta my sight, we're getting divorced.".

by The Sage Of Suave February 27, 2014