jesus

like the unicorn jesus is fictional but is believed to be real by a large amount of people who also believe that their is a very large invisible man in the sky.

He is said to have died on the cross for our sins. Then came back and then died again.

person 1'Hey look a unicorn'
person 2'unicorns arent real idiot'
Person 1'hey look jesus'
person 2'what? where?'
person 1' jesus isnt real idiot'

by jenibi November 20, 2011

Jesus

1) Savior of fallen man, light of the world. See Christianity
2) Chuck Norris

Interchangable with Dave Fox

1: Thank Jesus!
2: Did you see Walker, Texas Ranger last night?! That guy is Jesus
3: O-at-ka wouldn't be the same without Jesus

by Ryan Foster January 15, 2009

Jesus

The holy man himself

Fuck me in the ass cause I love jesus

by Nanta December 7, 2019

jesus

teh main char in a good book (although NGE improved on it a lot)

some god fanboy: I hate NGE
jesus: well I hate you

by Kaworukun September 13, 2007

Jesus

Jesus is a Jewish hippie who loves listening to The Beatles.

You: "Dude, The Beatles are awesome."

Me: "Yeah, I know. Jesus said the same thing to me the other day but i prefer Slipknot."

by dark countess July 30, 2012

Jesus

A Hispanic guy who usually just does the same thing everyday. Jesus's tend to eat a lot when bored. There preferred food are: Hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, waffles, scrambled eggs. You can tell when a Jesus has been in the kitchen if you find butter knives, random jelly spots, an empty cup ready for whenever Jesus wants water.

Why is there so many butter knives in the sink?

"Jesus came over"

by That one guy DD February 11, 2014

jesus

gonna be the guy who's gonna fuck up your life because you're gonna give into his mind games and shit like that. all he wants to do with you is fuck, fuck, and fuck because he's always bored and has no one to hangout with. basically a MAN HOE...

my life was going great until jesus started talking to me. yeah it was cool and shit since he kissed me, but later i found out he's hoeing around with other girls and flirting with anyone who gets in his way...

by life is hard bc of guys April 8, 2019