Absent Money 

Noun describing a lack of money, and/or state of debt.

Jack: Hey man, want to go downtown and buy some CDs?
Sherman: Aw, sorry man, I can't. I have so much absent money it's not even laughable.

Absent Money by hindenburg II March 21, 2010

absent-minded professor 

The very intelligent are sometimes preoccupied with weighty matters (as they suppose) insomuch that they forget about more prosaic matters -- such as remembering keys, wallet, phone, appointments, etc.

The teacher showed up in class, on time -- but forgot it was Tuesday, not Wednesday -- and was halfway through the lecture before the absent-minded professor realized he was teaching the wrong subject matter. On the plus side, I understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity a lot better than I did. I hope it shows up on our Physical Science 101 exams...

absent-minded professor by 1ightsaber June 7, 2021

The Absentia Lardum Effect 

The overwhelming sensation to consume bacon when the body witnesses something so utterly bland, tasteless, or otherwise unappealing.

I was walking past a vegan restaurant one day when I was suddenly overcome by the Absentia Lardum Effect. I immediately proceeded to the nearest fast food chain for a double bacon cheeseburger.

The Absentia Lardum Effect by Verosumatic October 5, 2016

Absentee Fan 

An absentee fan is someone who claims to be a huge fan of a sport and/or a team. This person will own a ton of apparel for said sport/team, and watch sportscenter for highlights of that sport/team often. However, this person will never, ever watch actual games of said sport/team, and they will never be emotionally affected by the outcome of that sport/team.

One person may be an absentee fan of multiple sports and multiple teams.

John: Hey Steve, we are all going to watch the Yankees ALDS game at Rick's house tonight, do you want to come?

Steve: Sorry man, I wanted to catch up on some cleaning tonight. Maybe next time. I'll just watch the highlights on sportscenter. I hope the Yankees win though.

Rick (after Steve leaves): Don't worry John, Steve is just an absentee fan.

Absentee Fan by Yanksrule56 June 4, 2010

absentini

An absence attributed to excess martini consumption.

Patty: Sorry to have blown you off at spin class this morning. Meltem was in town last night, and we stayed out waaaaay too late.

Judy: That will be recorded as a fully-excused absentini.

absentini by Judy Gresham August 14, 2010

abilene 

Descriptive of the refreshing coolness of the underside of a pillow.

He was hot and uncomfortable and the abilene pillow was just what he needed to get to sleep.

abilene by franchez July 16, 2008

Absent 

Incorrect spelling/reference to "absinthe," a distilled, highly-alcoholic beverage.

Idiot: I went on Urban Dictionary to define this crazy drink I had last night called "absent."

Idiot's friend: Dude, you mean "absinthe."

Idiot: I do?

Absent by SpellingPoliceEU March 3, 2009