left handed soccer bat

term used by military personel to describe something useless, or messed up.

"what the hell is that?! that's more fucked up than a left handed soccer bat

by living proof December 12, 2003

Shaking Hands With Dr. Jolly

A slow and casual form of masturbation. A good transition from vigorous mastubation such as flogging the dolphin.

Yesterday I was flogging the dolphin and got tired so I decided to start Shaking Hands With Dr. Jolly.

flogging the dolphin masturbation

by Zach and sol and ev April 22, 2009

Cool Hand Luke Job

Receiving a hand job while watching the film Cool Hand Luke.

-Dude how was movie night with Janelle?
--It was sweet, especially when I got a Cool Hand Luke Job!

by lockenload23 March 11, 2017

The One Man Hand Jive

Manual stimulation of the genital organs (of oneself or another) for sexual pleasure

Johnny was in his room doing The One Man Hand Jive as his mother walked in and caught him in the act.

by ShoTz November 29, 2007

One Handed Banana Toast

Slang for masturbating

What're you doing? Nothing, just whipping up some one handed banana toast.

by Rodaddy October 14, 2016

Sword and a dick in my hand

Meaning to be involved in and support something and be left waiting, with nothing to do and no support.

I stood up to Ivy’s boss, she took his side! I was left with a sword and a dick in my hand!

by MAA9000 February 28, 2022

Peanut Butter Hand-Shake

A prank where you accidentally or intentionally get shit on your fingers (see Peanut Butter Fingers) then shake the hand of a friend (or enemy)

To get even with my ole buddy Brian I believe I'll give him a Peanut Butter Hand-Shake

by nibbles1969 February 12, 2015