Jesus shit

a generic exclamation of shock

Jesus Shit! You scared the hell out of me

by Sylvia May 7, 2004

shit happens

Better list of religious versions:

Taoism Shit happens.
Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Mormonism This shit is going to happen again.
Islam If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Stoicism This shit is its own reward.
Protestantism Let this shit happen to someone else.
Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Pentecostalism In Jesus' name, heal this shit!
Catholicism Shit happens because you deserve it.
Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time.
Marxism This shit is going to hit the fan.
Atheism No shit.
Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays.
Existentialism Absurd shit.
Agnosticism What is this shit?
Nihilism Who gives a shit?
Deconstruction Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science Shit is in your mind.
Moonies Only happy shit really happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, Knock, shit happens.
Scientology Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.

A fictitious explanation of the origin of this phrase occurs in the 1994 movie Forrest Gump. During his capricious run, an enthusiastic fan running alongside him points out to Forrest that he has just stepped in a pile of dog feces. When Forrest replies, "It happens," the fan replies, "What, shit?", to which Forrest replies, "Sometimes". The fan is then unwittingly inspired to create the "Shit Happens" bumper sticker. wikipedia

by Minthos September 5, 2010

Shit Fishing

When somone puts their arm down the piping of the toilet to find a shit. This is usually performed after somone else has just been to the toilet, obviously increasing the chance to find something.

There are many reasons people do shit fishing, but the three most commen reasons are:
Blocked toilet
Somone ate something that the person needed
Hunger

"Hey John, wanna play some b-ball on saturday?"
"I can't Stan, I'm going Shit Fishing with my dad."

by themostnaturalskintags January 9, 2008

shit shy

1) A person who cannot use a bathroom in a public place or with people around the vicinity.
2) Someone who is a wuss; pussy

1) I can't piss, im too shit shy.
2) Don't be fuckin shit shy, slash those mother fuckin tires foo.

by Jessica April 15, 2003

Sack of shit

What you call someone being a real asshole, usually by them being lazy

Joe helps his friend Judson do his homework, yet Judson not only doesn't helps back, he passive agresssively steals Joe's answers. Joe thinks Judson is a sack of shit.

by IeatCatsandDogs December 7, 2017

shitting olympics

the shitting olympics is an event where great shitters from around the globe enter there shitting exploits via email in hope of winning gold medals in events such as "the bowl splatter""shitting baseball"(where the aim is to spray out of the playfield" "diving"(the aim is to make as little splash as possible)

"silence comes across the crowd as young nightingale from australia goes in for the bowl spray gold medal....look at his backward and forward rocking motion ladies and gentlemen...he rocks back then forward then back then forward on his final approach...he gets lift off he sprays!!!!ITS HIT THE BACK WALL!!!!!HE HAS SHATTERED THE RECORD!!!!!!!ITS PANDOMONIUM HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!another shitting olympics magic moment bought to you by sorbent and nescafe old gold coffee

by john coffee god save the queen October 18, 2008

shit-housed

to house so much alcohol in your shit that 'hammered', 'drunk', 'tanked', 'completely rat-arsed' or any other words used to describe your level of intoxication suddenly become a simple, insipid understatement.

dude, Brent was so Shit-housed after downing that whole bottle of captain morgan private stock. whammy!

by piratesonstrike May 6, 2009