one handed popcorn eater

a man or woman who goes to see a movie purely to pleasure themselves

dude, that guy is a one handed popcorn eater i just got jizz on my neck

by manfat June 28, 2003

Shake hands with Dick Cheney

Urination. Particularly by means of a penis.

Hey Bob, save me a spot in that meeting. I have to drop by the bathroom to shake hands with Dick Cheney.

by Syne May 7, 2008

Second Hand Cock Smoking

Verb. One tasting the taste of a cock (usually one's own) by kissing somebody who has just smoked a cock.

So I kissed the bitch after she blew me, and I tasted second hand cock smoking.

by Stone Costa December 21, 2008

Shaking Hands with Abe Lincoln

Masturbation; spanking the monkey; shining the pope; pleasing the tall dude with the beard; playing 5 on 1, hanging out with Mary Palmer and her 5 sisters

When the professor asked the students if "there were any other terms for masturbation" to add to the list he had on the board during our human sexuality class, the class fell silent. Then, this grisly old dude in the back crowed out "shaking hands with Abe Lincoln". His addition shocked the entire class including the professor.

by R. Keefe November 30, 2005

dating my right hand

when you are dating your right hand, it means you are single, so instead of having sex with a person, you have it with you right hand.

Guy who is dating: i got a date with lizzie tonight!
Guy who is dating his right hand: i am still dating my right hand.

by !-Evan-! March 21, 2008

left-handed cheese straightener

1. A complicated-seeming gadget, the purpose of which is nonexistent or difficult to discern. Popularized by comedian George Carlin in a skit where he explained that only in America was the patent for a left-handed cheese straightener already taken.

2. Something odd that can only be found in America.

Person 1: What the #$%&@ is that jumble of levers and pulleys supposed to be?
Person 2: Why, it must be a left-handed cheese straightener!

by Mlle. Plath April 2, 2006

Shake Hands with the Germans

To flog the dolphin, pitchin batting practice, choke the chicken, beat the meat, beat the cock, jerkin the gerkin, all that shit... MASTURBATING!

My roommate was Shaking hands with the Germans one day when I walked in.

by Poiker April 20, 2004