punching your meatpie

The act of male masturbation. (See tugging, jacking off, bashing the bishop, etc.)

After Bill came home from a Backstreet Boys concert, he crept into his room and punched his meatpie at least five times until his mother caught him red-handed and he was repremanded like a third grader.

by Whipshock May 2, 2005

smacking your chops

Opening and closing one's mouth in a way that causes the spit within to make audible noise. Occurs during talking or inhaling through the mouth.

Please stop smacking your chops, it is annoying for headphone users to listen to.

by TheGuyWhoKnowsWords February 24, 2015

Being on your j's

Being alone
Being by yourself

"We don't like you being on your j's, so we'll just come with you."

by Samuel Billy Bob Smith March 15, 2009

Salt your dog

Being in such a depressed state that you lube your own hand with the saltiness of your tears for masturbation

Man that torta dumped me so i was saltin my dog all night.

Salt your dog bro

by saltydog69 October 12, 2011

Calm your pussy

This phrase or expression is used the same way you'd use phrases like "calm your tits"or "calm your shit" to tell someone to not be overly dramatic or go overboard/ overthink shit.

Its two days since an "ex" and i spoke

Ex: So now your not talking to me anymore? why?
I: (laughing) "calm your pussy" i'm talking to you right now aren't i? i've just been busy.

by Kid kong January 12, 2012

shitting your pants

Believe it or not, shitting your pants is exactly what it sounds like. It's when you shit in your pants. See also suprise shit

"Hey don, how was math class?"
"Mr. Hendricks wouldn't let me use the bathroom so I ended up shitting your pants*."
"... I can get your notes for the rest of the week."
*i wanted to put down shitting my pants, but the UD wouldn't let me

by Bet you didn't see that cummin August 28, 2017

Closing your eyes

When your eyelids move in a certain way that it blocks your pupil from the outside world.
It is used usually when you
A. blink
B. Close your eyes
C. sleep
D. Want to not see something.

Side effects of closing your eyes include:

Not being able to see.

When your eyelids move in a certain way that it blocks your pupil from the outside world.
It is used usually when you
A. blink
B. Close your eyes
C. sleep
D. Want to not see something.

Side effects of closing your eyes include:

Not being able to see.

by Gids Is On Urban Dictionary June 17, 2020