Closeted Weirdo

When you try to dress/act/be "normal" to conceal your weirdness in order to cope with the prejudices of society (because being weird is socially unexceptable, especially in most southern regions of the United States where individuality is not appreciated and in some cases, feared. And of course, not to forget, the American high school where these principles take on different vicious form themselves.) These factors tend to lead to the oppressed seeking an outlet for coping with these injustices of our society. However promising this way coping with the oppression of weirdos may seem in the beginning, this strategy tends to leave the closeted feeling empty, cronically depressed, and even more oppressed as anger starts to emerge.

Teen #1: Hey, you know Madison, there is reason to suspect that she is a closeted weirdo.
Teen #2: How come?
Teen #1: Behind that "normal" façade of hers, probably lies a really unique and interesting person.

Teen #2: Nah, she's just as plasticas the rest of us. She's probably just another basic bitch.

Teen #2: Fine, suit your self.

by Closeted Weirdo March 10, 2015

Closet Ostrich

Closet Ostrich- an ostrich who lives in closets and wants money from you... even though you already paid the ostrich last Thursday. This term was coined by the band Fat Hands, and is from their song "Ostrich in My Closet".

"What happened to all the money you made last week?"
"I had to pay my Closet Ostrich again. He won't leave."

by treesofgreen October 29, 2017

Closet Directioner

a directioner that refuses to tell anyone that they like One Direction; they know all of their songs, own a bunch of merchandise, and secretly dance around in their room to WMYB; usually happens with boys that are in denial about liking pop music. in fact, they are so in denial that they are drowning

OMG, Stacy, Darren is such a Closet Directioner! I saw him dancing in his room to What Makes You Beautiful, and i took pictures and videos!

by Kaeree36 April 29, 2015

Closet Doug

a secret competitive eater

Bob looked at the pile of brownies he was tempted to devour and realized he was a closet doug.

by Team Incredibly Awesome May 4, 2011

closeted coward

Someone who is secretly a coward, but puts up a brave front until trouble appears.
Doesn't want to admit they are scared of a lot of things. The term goes a bit deeper into their personality than being just a "pussy" or "wuss"

ex:
Jake: Wow! That guy Shane is so cool! He said he'd take on those bullies head on!
Ashley: He says that all the time. He's actually a closeted coward. Once those bullies show up he'll run screaming.

by frostiewow July 21, 2015

Closet Furry

Someone who just REALLY enjoyed Warrior Cats as a kid.

I never realized Cornelius had been a Closet Furry until now.

by ItsBeanin December 29, 2022

Closet Douche

That one person who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into the illusion that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to the hatred of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.

guy: "God damn Bob is such a douche"
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."

by DD6969 January 19, 2010