Mountain Monkey

Mountain Monkey(noun): Lazy, self-entitled, usually uneducated male who resides in the mountains and valleys of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan. They enjoy wearing man-dresses, subjugating women, physically and verbally abusing the mentally handicapped, intoxication through the use of opium and opium products(i.e. heroin), and fornicating with farm animals(usually goats and sheep but bovine are certainly not safe either) and small boys. Their preteen wives are usually extremely neglected because all of the mountain monkey's sexual energies are taken out on either his flock of sheep or the behind of another mountain monkey. They have a deeply ingrained belief that Americans(or Westerners in general for that matter) owe them something because unlike them we have, as a culture, managed to progress beyond the 12th century while they remain willfully ignorant and stuck in the cultural, political, technological and ideological backwaters. It must also be noted that the mountain monkey has an extreme aversion to all forms of personal hygiene as well as public sanitation.

Yeah bro, these little mountain monkeys are self-entitled, greedy little pieces of shit

by ballsinurface May 7, 2011

blunt monkey

a person who is extremely good at rolling blunts of marijuana but does not necessarily smoke the blunts he/she has rolled

Where is that little blunt monkey Cams at, I'm way to high to roll another blunt myself.

by the meaty one January 22, 2011

Jizz Monkey

To jizz on the face of an African American female, while she is taking a poop.

Brent Shaw jizz monkeyed that girl last night!!

by NegroButthole March 7, 2009

porch monkey

a term used for African-American children who are always underfoot

Those porch monkeys won't get out of my way.

by Big Tom June 5, 2005

Funky Monkey

When you take a guy you turn him upside down and lick his whole body.

One day we were feeling horny and i gave him the Funky Monkey.

by UrBaN MoNkEy March 5, 2008

shit monkey

any obvious lying fucking primate bi-pedal asshole espousing falsehoods out of it's rectum-like mouth orifice. i.e.-a liar.Everything that falls out of these creatures is pure shit,hence-"shit monkey"

George W. Bush is actually websters picture example if you look closely to the right of the definition. Right next to the phrase-"blatant shitmonkeyness". There are countless numbers of these creatures among us unfortunately. They can be readily identified, and one can tell when they are lying as you will notice the mouth orifice is open.

by KANE August 3, 2004

Monkey Paw

Marijuana that is laced with a powerful, unkown substance. It endows the individual with abilities such as, being able to consume large ammounts of multiple shots of varied and extremely high quality liquor. As well, Sylvester Stallone movies can be viewed while in this state.

"Dude, we got messed up on some monkey paw! Yeah, we drank alot of liquor& were still ok; and then for some reason we went and saw that horrible Stallone movie!"

by buzzsaw February 20, 2004