Insta-boner

When you get turned on so fast that your dick gets hard quicker than it can rearrange itself in your pants. Usually requires manual adjustment and is accompanied by drool and the inability to make rational decisions as lack of blood leaves your brain in a stupor.

Friend: “yo! Dude! Fix yourself! You got an insta-boner.”
Me: *babbles incoherently*
Friend: “Emily walked by, didn’t she?”
Me: “random jibberish* *fixes junk*

by Fetch Stick August 25, 2018

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text boner

Noun. When someone is excited in a message or in their writing and they show their excitement in all caps.

Example of a text boner: OMFG IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS WEEKED!!!

by Bayra Diamond October 28, 2013

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boner scratch

having your boner ruffled and gyrated upon by another human in some fashion, in a way that satisfies a pre-existing desire, typically accomplished through grinding.

Bro, think that girl will give me the 'ol boner scratch?

by Boner?...I barely know her! July 22, 2018

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Reddit boner

When you cum but don’t have an erection.

My ED causes me to have reddit boners when I’m in any sexual situation and it’s pissing me off

by Steely Stan November 9, 2025

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boner army

The groups of young men that follow popular influencers because of the raging boners they get from the pictures they post online. Phrase created by the Drew and Mike podcast.

Livy Dunne has such a huge boner army following her around she doesn’t feel safe going to class anymore.

by GetSchwifty19556 August 31, 2023

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