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cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".
Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...
by Fearman March 11, 2008
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selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.
JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"
by GbAbE September 9, 2018
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Read the zoom

Like reading the room but in COVID
‘You can’t say that. I wish he’d just read the Zoom
by Bangus Khan October 16, 2020
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Half Read

When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.
Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."
by Yeti remains March 10, 2022
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shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load
I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!
by Try It June 14, 2015
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Good Read

When someone "reads" a situation well.
Johnny I don't think it would be a good idea to throw a rock at that snake

Good read Jim
by BPS14 January 25, 2017
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read description

An easy way on eBay to say that whatever item you're selling is absolute dogshit, or has some sort of overwhelmingly huge flaw that would render it useless. e.g. "iPhone XR good condition READ DESCRIPTION" and in description, "BAD ESN" (this means you can't activate it, it's probably stolen).

Or a good one, is when they are retail demos and have SCREEN BURN-IN. Who the fuck wants to look at a burnt-in image?

Stolen shit usually is "read description" since they probably ripped it out of someone's hand.

Often, the seller will say, "re4d", "l00k", or some other bullshit to prevent you from subtracting their trash listing from the results. Also, same applies for "icl0ud", "cr4cked", and other things like "acc0unt". Really disingenuous stuff. Report them whenever you see them.
"iPhone XS MAX GOOD CONDITION READ DESCRIPTION"
Description: "... BAD ESN iCLOUD LOCKED"
by Doge 2.0 March 29, 2021
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