human pet guy

notorious on tumblr for a lengthy screed turned copypasta detailing why he believed he should be able to own a human pet. he has called himself "the cybersmith" since approximately 2014 and despite the belief of many that he may be a "bit", a three-hour interview proved his validity as a self-proclaimed "libertarian monarchist." in recent years he has become a reply guy to twitter user SAMOYEDCORE and retweets diaper- and other fetish-related pornography. he is a fan of the fallout series, fallout 4 being his favourite and perhaps what he bases some or most of his politics off of. he also has an account on reddit where he posts fallout-related meta-analysis, which he would no doubt prefer to be known for.

a did you hear that human pet guy thinks ancient romans all lived in tiny colosseums?
b i heard that human pet guy wanted to be pegged by young maggie thatcher.

human pet guy by space/qwn March 16, 2021

Human Cigarette Butt 

Person who smells like a wet ash tray, has brown stained teeth and a raspy smoker's voice.

Lynn has not been able to get a job because she looks like a human cigarette butt.

Human Cigarette Butt by The #1 Joker October 7, 2012

Human Branding

A term used for degrading a victim in torture. This can be done by forced nudity and humiliation. Human Branding is a more exciting way unless you're used to burning people, that is.

Human Branding is quite self-explanatory. You grab an iron brand, heat it up, and stick it on the person wherever you please. Rapists and Paedophiles should have it placed on both testicles and face. That's after carefully slicing the tip of the penis "to put such predators out of use before being released onto our streets" and to assist the prey identify the predator.

Think of it like giving an extremely painful tattoo to them. It does cause a good amount of pain, after all nobody likes having burning hot metal pressed onto their skin, or in the Rapist and Paedophiles eyes "Ball-sacks".

Because of how livestock are branded, human branding can be seen as a way of showing the victim's reduction in the status of their life. It's almost as if they are property now.

Judge: "For your despicable and hospitable acts I sentence you to life with Human Branding"

Human Branding by CannabisKings January 17, 2020

human constructs 

Ideas made up and carried out by humans for purpose of clarification, that actually don't exist.

Money is a human construct because it is given value, and without its given value it wouldn't be worth anything.

Human Constructs make up man things...

human constructs by Aspekt December 28, 2006

Human Whisk 

0 in the pink, 20 in the stink, simple as that. You’ll look like the kitchen appliance when enacted successfully.

Did you hear about Sarah’s asshole? Jack gauged it when he performed the human whisk.

Human Whisk by The Human Whisk September 15, 2019

Human Garbage 

n; a person who is absolutely worthless.

The smack daddy is a piece of human garbage. Or, when did you become such a worthless piece of human garbage.

Human Garbage by Anonymous1544 October 11, 2008

human race 

A group of highly evolved assholes who mysteriously appeared on the third planet from the sun in a tiny solar system who spend their meaningless, short lifespans trying to figure out themselves, the world around them, and their fellow assholes. As of late, a solid conclusion to the problem of their existence has yet to be found, and continued conflicts between different groups of assholes plague the minuscule planet on which they reside, as well as the human race itself.

"Hey, Joe. Did you hear the news last night?"

"Yeah. That's some twisted shit. Man, I hate the human race."

human race by Pessimistic-Panda September 14, 2014