touch of shit

Like this myth of Midas, only in a bad way. Someone with the touch of shit makes everything they touch turn to shit. Often applies to celebrities and musicians, thought can also apply to politicians, teachers and occassionally significant others.

by bigfatass September 5, 2003

paid shit

Taking a shit while your on the job.

It's time for my 3pm paid shit

by crackh0 May 30, 2008

Shit for the Cycle

Taking a shit in each bathroom of your house (minimum of 2 bathrooms) during one day. You get double points if you can do it before leaving for work.

Due to my overindulgence in alcohol and junk food yesterday, I shit for the cycle this morning.

by NBAnderson January 3, 2012

shit walk

The act of clenching ones butt to prevent a leak of the anus. The result of this act makes one do a speeding duck walk to the bathroom.

Dude! That guy had to use the shitter so bad he had to do the shit walk!

by Chris AKA $SPUDZ$ March 11, 2008

shitting upstream

In literal terms, it is the act of defecating against the current of a body of water because the circumstances of the situation offer the individual no other option but to poop right then and there in the river. This messy situation, having to poop while submerged in water, is exacerbated by the poor choice of the individual to defecate with his/her backside facing upstream. The current then pushes the feces back in the direction of the defecator and thus makes this already messy situation much messier. In an everyday scenario, this expression means to attempt to improve a desperate situation but in doing so, make the situation worse for oneself.

Example:

Dude 1: How’d it go with Kelly last night? You finally get to bone her before you left for school?
Dude 2: No, I made it worse.
Dude 1: How?
Dude 2: Got myself into the friend zone. I heard she was more into sensitive guys so I tried really hard to be sensitive around her. She ended up telling me I'm a really good person and we should just be friends. I was shitting upstream, man. Now there’s no chance we’re gonna bone, even when we come home for winter vacation.

by PTouch August 21, 2009

Shit Cigar

1. A shit that is shaped like a cigar.

2. Dropping a steamy load in your friend's mouth when they are asleep and setting it alight.

Derek: Hey Gene, last night my friend took a shit cigar in my mouth and now I'm addicted.

Gene: That sucks

by Crunchie Egg May 3, 2009

Shit, it's a monkey

Term used my newly naturalised Australians (most notably Scottish) to notify of a koala in the near vicinity.

What's that on the road? Shit, it's a monkey

by That guy over there too November 22, 2010