Testicles come in few shapes, more sizes and even more levels of maintenance and cleanliness. Balls have been arranged into categories by people who care about what they put in their mouths. They are defined as follows
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
Get the Ball Category mug.by ohasif123 November 5, 2008
Get the Ball Lapping mug.The act of stretching out ones testicles, usually with weights or elastic, to the point of hypersensitivity whereby climax can be reached purely by manipulation of the scrotum. Long balling can also occur in couples or groups. In a couple once sufficient long balling has been achieved the elongated testicles can be placed into the partners anus, true long balling is achieved when both partners place their testicles in one another's anus' simultaneously. In groups long balling is usually used as a form of friendly competition, where each parties stretched scrotum is measured to the group in order to determine who is the better long baller.
Tony: you know anyone else that would be up for a long balling circle?
Ash: I here Bob's a pretty solid long baller. He won last weeks circle out Frankston way.
Ash: I here Bob's a pretty solid long baller. He won last weeks circle out Frankston way.
by TwistNdip June 9, 2013
Get the Long balling mug."Man, I was just reading a book the other day, and this bitch started glitter-balling me in the middle of class!"
"Damn, dude. I think you might want to rethink your game plan, homie."
"Damn, dude. I think you might want to rethink your game plan, homie."
by Glitter-Balla-Holic March 14, 2010
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Get the balls tight mug.by Derpington September 13, 2009
Get the Garlic Balls mug.You work hard all day in a particularly extraordinary laborious or dirty job. Your job causes you to get extremely dirty from materials which are persistently non water soluble such as roof tar, industrial glue or asphalt. You need extra help in the removal of these materials with known cleansers such as gasoline or Goo be Gone. While showering and pouring these materials on your naked parts... legs, arms, hands, etc...you accidentally drip some on your balls. The pain you feel is such that you consider dialing 911. It may last for more than 3 to 5 minutes before any slight relief may come from hosing down your balls with cold water and even vinegar if necessary. You are experiencing ACID BALLS!
by bloodythesaurus April 2, 2010
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