wank in church

The act of masturbating in a church or any other religious setting.

What did you do this weekend?
I had a wank in church.
Ok...
Yeah, the priest wasn't too happy but he saw a choir boy and did the same.

by Baconwound August 9, 2022

soaky pokey bum wank

Also known as: one crease, a finger through the tissue, a rear breach, backdoor assailant, pushing the button and backdoor delight.

A common practice by the straight man to massage and finger ones rear passage while stroking the baby cannon.

Those not partaking in such delights have known to bat for the other team and play WOW. AKA R.Dixon.

Ah yeah, last night I had a takeaway and a soaky pokey bum wank. Absolute treat.

by Ben Fender September 8, 2019

wank-neck

A debilitating pain or twinge in the neck and shoulders, resulting from excessive or violent masturbation. Usually the affliction of men in their mid-to-late-twenties, directly resulting from a 'dry-spell'.

Most mornings he woke up with wank-neck.

If he doesn't stop, he'll give himself chronic wank-neck.

Wank-neck is the disease of the under sexed.

by one of many concerned friends January 27, 2014

Toxic Wank

A toxic wank is where you cum on someone whilst breaking up with them, specifically on the face.

"Omg Jeremy, you came so much!"
"Sorry Jessica that was a toxic wank, we're over"

by Oxford Vaginary October 8, 2021

Plugged Wank

The act of masturbating with an item, usually a butt plug or finger, in one's anus.

I had a brilliant plugged wank last night, the finger made it extra special.

by BritishStereotype November 22, 2014

wank punch

Hitting someone in a manner of which one wanks

Thw man hit so soft, like he was wank punching. Almost seems he was enjoying to much to get hit harder.

by litreb July 15, 2024

tab wank

Vigorously poking one's finger in, out and around the ear hole to loosen up wax or displace trapped water.

Look at that bloke over there, he's having a right good tab wank.

by Richb1 September 29, 2023