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gum giving laws

The gum giving laws are the laws on who you can or cannot give gum to. The reasons you cannot give someone a piece of gum are as follows:

If they are named Addison,
If they put a dent in your wall,
If they cried on your pillow,
And if they previously tried to steal your gum
The gum giving laws were created by Pope John XII and are now in effect in every country even Singapore where gum is banned
by Lil big 4x June 3, 2020
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Turd Law of Relativity

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013
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Garland’s Law of Toilets

(1) In a bathroom, the least used and cleanest toilet will be the one that the eye travels to last.

(2) The cleanest toilet will never be the stall closest to the door, nor the one furthest from it, unless it is a stall handicap.

(3) The higher in elevation, the cleaner and less used the toilet.
“Bro, I can’t find a clean bathroom on campus...”

“Dude, just follow Garland’s Law of Toilets, the cleanest one is the third stall in the fourth floor library bathroom.”
by Dr. Toilet, Ph.D March 3, 2020
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The Law Of Maximum Misery

States that one should always be aware of their surroundings in order to prepare for the worst.
Billy is very careful and is driving a car. Therefore he suspects that a car filled with very noisy (and apparently drunk) teenagers would get into a wreck. So Billy turns unto a different street in order to avoid any other complications. So he is abiding to the rules of The Law Of Maximum Misery.
by Koachilion March 18, 2007
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the law of dangling cords

Whenever you have a cord, rope, wire, string, etc. on your person that is dangling as you walk or move, then the dangling object has a tendency to get caught up or wrapped around another object in your path.
As I transported the DVD player from the bedroom to the living room, the cord got wrapped around the bathroom doorknob. That is what you call the law of dangling cords.
by dreamquestone January 30, 2022
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double-brother-in-law

Sister’s husband and spouse’s brother at the same time.
My double-brother-in-law is a good person.
by Rwopazaq November 24, 2019
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Milk Dud’s Law

A law stating that, if encountered, a bald headed black man shall be slapped on the head quickly yet firmly
Person 1: You see that bald guy over there, you know Milk Dud’s Law, right?
Person 2: yeah, I do, let’s get this guy
by da koala June 23, 2020
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