Porch Monkey

Someone who just sits on the porch all day talking smack. Usually referred to someone black.

Jose Rojas does nothing but play xbox and is an EXTREME Porch Monkey!!!!

by BeastPerson July 20, 2012

Monkey Pumper

one who masturbates; one who jerks off; one who chokes one's chicken; one who strokes one's cork while massaging one's grapes

Employee1: Man, why is the boss such a jerk?!
Employee2: Ah, don't worry dude, he's just busin' your balls cause he's a monkey pumper.

by Drjerkle September 22, 2009

Screeching monkey

When a man fists a women sticks his dick in her ass and twists her nipples while bashing her into the wall

You do the screeching monkey in the bedroom

by True illness May 24, 2016

monkey text

Random words or text, as if written by monkeys banging on typewriters.

The text message you sent me was just monkey text.

by Loadmaster March 31, 2010

Sweaty monkey

When one drags his nuts across the scree of an unattended cell phone of either an unsuspecting victim or arch enemy.

That prick left his phone on his desk, so I gave him the sweaty monkey.

by XLBOSTON March 6, 2016

rolling monkey

The guy in a circle of stoners whos job it is to bill up the joints all night long. Possibly as payment for smoking other peoples green.

someone bill up another joint..

eh, i chipped in, im not being your rolling monkey do it yourself.

by anaemic March 15, 2007

Magic Monkey

The same as "Magic Nigger": a black person who is polite, law-abiding, peaceful, friendly, respectful to women, etc.

You always get these Magic Monkeys on TV, don't you? What world are these people living in?

by prairiefire July 5, 2010