jazz hands

Ejaculating into your hand after realizing you have no toilet paper.

"oh dear, no toilet paper......urgh, jazz hands it is then"

by richyrichyrichyrichy April 12, 2007

Hand Job

A manicure.

I went into the spa and asked for a hand job. They sat me down at a table and the technician across from me buffed my nails, trimmed my cuticles, and massaged lotion into my hands. It was a relaxing experience and I left satisfied.

by Grammy in the Red House January 17, 2010

Jazz Hands

When a persons hands shake uncontrolably from alcohol withdrawl.

Man, Just thinking about an ice cold beer right now is giving me a mean case of Jazz Hands!

by Blanket boy May 26, 2009

ham-hands

the uncontrolable desire of masturbating with a glazed porkroast

Watch out sir, he's got the ham-hands today...

by James Corvarse January 19, 2005

Left handed

Someone who is left handed is the devil's child. If you know anyone who is left handed, call the police to perform a ritual on them.

*At the basketball gym*
Some random guy: yo why are you so good with your left hand?
Me: Oh I'm left handed.
Them: NO GET AWAY

by follow me @AMerryHalloween November 10, 2019

Hand-whore

Female who masturbates constantly with her hand.
Female masturbator who does not require toys.

1. That hand-whore never goes out with guys because she's always home takin' care of business by herself.

2. He divorced her because she's such a hand-whore and never gave up the pussy.

3. That hand-whore is always droppin' books, so she never needs a man's affection. She just goes to the library all day long.

by Spyboy Pseudodelic December 25, 2011

Jazz Handed

the delicate art of stuffing ones thumbs in a ladys arse, and spreading the fingers out in a joyfull circular bliss around her buttocks, whilst in the act of doggy style.....

Nick: Is lisa allright? She seems to be walking a bit funny today......

Joe: she got jazz handed last night

Nick: MOMMY BOYYYY!!!!

by playfulgorilla May 13, 2009