FML (fuck my life)

When you're having a very bad day or something bad has happened to you within the last 30 seconds to 18 hours

You: visits Urban dictionary and find lesbian threesome
You: texts friend --- FML (fuck my life)
Friend: texts back --- why
You: texts to friend --- I accidentally stumbled on to lesbian threesome on Urban dictionary
Friend: texts back --- makes sense

by Seaserpant June 5, 2022

Suck my balls

What you tell the family dog to do

You: just suck my balls! U put peanut butter on them this time!

by Niggerhater69itouchminors August 5, 2025

My father

My father is the person who jacked it in my mother then found out I was gay and then said "Goodbye son, I'm getting some milk" and was never heard from again

"I wish my father came to my baseball games when I was younger."

by WishIsGay June 12, 2022

eat my hitch

When you are driving a big ass dually and someone wants to ride your ass

Or

When you want someone to suck your dick (male) or eat your ass (female)

This dude in a tundra can eat my hitch!! Always riding my ass!!

by Big daddy van November 10, 2021

Stir my salad

Stir my salad - invitation to do a handjob for a female

I was wondering if you would stir my salad tonight.

by Fenksikas October 27, 2022

snip my bonsai

shut me up with a kiss

Close your eyes and snip my bonsai

by LA99 June 14, 2017

Suck my fortnite stats

Where you wanna say “suck my dick” to somebody being annoying or irritating but you don’t wanna be inappropriate.

Guy: Shut the fuck up

Me: You shut up, suck my fortnite stats

by aucdan July 30, 2022