chocolate jesus

Similar to the filthy Sanchez but with one major difference. After you've engaged in anal sex you don't just draw the mustache, you give them the full beard.

I gave your sister the chocolate Jesus last night.

Really, how'd she take it?

I don't remember cause after i left i got struck by lightning.

by DjinnNTawnik June 26, 2007

Jesus is Savior

Jesus is savior is perhaps the biggest troll website on the internet. Within its hallowed lines of code, insane author David J. Stewart, only real prophet of one Jesus H. Christ, spreads the true word of God to everyone who incurs his (David’s) wrath, such as the whole human race, which includes but is not limited to whites, blacks, Asians, Arabs, Chinks, niggas, niggers, Negroes, crackers, Whitey, terrorists, faggots, and the French, and reveals to you that everything you know and love is in reality “of the devil” (even the Bible) and run by “Banksters.” According to this website, anyone who is not David Stewart is bound for demonic booty-rape in Hell, the domain of the Devil, Illuminati, and Democratic Party. The website uses elegant literary devices such as contradiction, grammatical and spelling errers, non-contradiction, redundancy, redundancy, and destroying the reputations of celebrities, including those who need no help in that capacity, such as Justin Bieber, “Satan’s Homosexual Boy Toy.” The reason this website was created is because David got all butt-hurt after child protective services forced his daughter to take drugs that made her hair fall out. Reliving the Red Scare by calling things Communist is also another prevalent theme in Jesus-is-savior. Later in his life, David became a necromancer and beat small children, which led to his flight to Brazil where he remains today.

Drunkard 1: I have a new drinking game we can play.
Drunkard 2: What are the rules?
Drunkard 1: Let’s read an article on Jesus is savior and take a drink every time a reference to Satan is made.
Drunkard 2: Sounds tight brah!
(The poor booze-hounds died of alcohol poisoning without even getting halfway through the article)

by Ronald Bringus Ph.D. October 26, 2015

Size of Jesus

Describing an object or thing as really big. Size of Jesus is a unit of measurement

"I saw a big spider in the hallway last night"
"How big was it?"
"Mate it was the size of Jesus"

by Normieroxanne July 8, 2018

blasian jesus

Black Asian that is very kind but is very dirty

You are a Blasian Jesus

by Annoying 101 March 29, 2017

Space Jesus

literally just obi wan kenobi.

he looks like jesus.
he acts like jesus.
he is jesus.
he even has the high ground.

be like space jesus.

"its over anakin i have the high ground" - space jesus
"you underestimate my power" - fallen deciple

by yeetus bazinga October 18, 2022

Sexy Jesus

When people are actually attracted to Jesus because of his handsome appearance.

Ironically, Jesus wasn't actually all that good looking according to the bible:

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him."-Isaiah 53:2

Most people seem to be attracted to Sexy Jesus when in reality Jesus wasn't all that beautiful

by Nordicdragon June 27, 2018

jesus erection

when a man is able to reach erection quickly after ejacultion.

Dude i totally had a jesus erection last night in bed.

by witchslayer69 May 19, 2018