wank coma

The act of masturbating and falling asleep shortly after wards as a result of exhaustion

It was 2am and after pumping out a fat one, I was in a wank coma.

by Bigfatdoggo October 11, 2017

professional wank

Having a wank over someone’s LinkedIn profile.

LinkedIn recruiter: Hi! I came across your profile and thought you’d be great for this role.

Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me

by antlizard March 1, 2021

wanking the gank

The act of stimulating the penis with your hand to achieve ejaculation; Male masturbation.

Commonly performed while viewing the pornography of MILFs.

Me: Hey man you see that new Lisa Ann vid on the Hub?
Friend: Hell ya bro I’m wanking the gank to it as we speak!

by The Don 1846 August 31, 2021

Wank Rash

Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.

Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”

by skinnotheskank May 20, 2022

Popcorn wank

When you're in the cinema and you put your dick in the bottom of the popcorn box, and have a wank as if to look like you're rummaging through the popcorn.

"What's all that noise, I can't hear the film?!"
"I don't know, must be someone having a popcorn wank!"

by Bambamg123 December 16, 2016

wanking friday

When working a full week so much that the thought of being friday makes you and your colleagues suffer from a compulsive will to masturbate all the day.

"Happy wanking friday fuckers !"

by Willy Friday Wanker November 9, 2015

terrorism wank

When you haven't fapped for more than a week and finally nut shouting: 'allahu akbar' as you cum

I haven't fapped for 2 weeks and just had a terrorism wank, yeah my jizz can take down buildings

by Captain of The SS September 4, 2017