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pump wank

When you beat your meat before meeting up with your girl or side hoe. That way it'll look bigger when you pull it out and slap it on her forehead like a baws.
Me: Damn, my girl is coming over, i better pump wank real quick just to make it look bigger.
by PumpWankMaster May 3, 2017
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Wank Seat

The component part around which most wank stations are built. This can range from basic units, commonly known as chairs, through to multilevel masterbation apparatus.
I wouldn't sit there, that's Dan's wank seat
by Colin Bucket August 7, 2020
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Wank Panther

The act of lying on a tree branch depositing ejaculate onto unsuspecting people below.
Marty McFly went back in time and found his dad in a tree peering at his mum. What a wank panther thought Marty.
by tosk February 17, 2021
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Allegorical Wank

Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.

See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.
by Theilliterate June 28, 2023
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Bridge Wank

The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.
"Dude I just caught my son bridge wanking in his room."
by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017
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Throwback wank

A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.
With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.
by J. Domain February 26, 2021
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wank strength

The strength and stamina a man gains on their dominant arm from masturbation. Also known as wank strenk.
Shit man I didn’t know u worked out.
I don’t man I got that wank strength
by BiggusDickus_69 February 11, 2022
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