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jesus wheeling

the act of hydroplaning, or driving on water and losing complete grip of the road.
this act is usualy carried out by land pirates
"man it was raining so hard last night we were jesus wheeling on the highway"
by Farlan Beck January 16, 2008
mugGet the jesus wheelingmug.

Jesus guest

n. (Gee^ zuz gest) An arrogant person who thinks that budget motels should have Marriott or Hilton standards in accordance to amenities. Also has a high demand for decaffeinated coffee.
Darla the Jesus guest demanded the lobby serve decaf coffee during her free continental breakfast.
by lordvader1982 November 18, 2010
mugGet the Jesus guestmug.

jesus sauce

when jesus was around he'd masturbate into cups and make people drink his seamen b/c if they drank this jesus sauce, they believed they'd gain his powers.
"my great-great-great-great-great-great (x's 45) grandfather jimmy drank jesus sauce once a day and learned how to walk on water!!!"
by Gjelstiznles July 31, 2006
mugGet the jesus saucemug.

Jesus Christ

Main character in the best selling fiction book of all time. Don't bother reading it though, he dies in the end.
I'm so bummed that Jesus Christ got killed off in the end of the Bible! But hey, they could totally make a killer zombie movie from his resurrection.
by skifreemt February 25, 2010
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

V-Jesus

V-Jesus is when a car powered by a Honda Engine with VTEC hits 6,000rpm's and then continues to exceed passed the magical stock redline embracing hitting 9,000rpm's releasing Jesus from your engine. Once released, Jesus cast a light of enlightenment showing you have hit V-Jesus and that it is now time to shift.
Did you see that flare, John hit V-Jesus!
by batmang January 24, 2005
mugGet the V-Jesusmug.

Jesus freak

someone evincing 2 or more of the following symptoms:
1: proclaims the lord is coming with the imminent end of the world
2: has signs on their person, car, or home with bible quotes
3: goes to church more than once a week
4: started their own christian offshoot cult because the rest aren;t pious enough
5: tries to foist an extreme form of christianity off on others
6: is a born-again christian and/or fundamentalist
every time i see that jesus freak walking around with his "god will save, the end is near" sign, i want to convert to satanism just so i can sacrifice him.
by minghi May 21, 2003
mugGet the Jesus freakmug.

Jesus Phone

The iphone by apple. A phone that makes you feel like Jesus. In fact Jesus probably has one himself.
Rick: HOLY SHIT I GOT A JESUS PHONE!!!
by Burkus December 19, 2008
mugGet the Jesus Phonemug.

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