Breakfast Wood

When you're morning wood delays until a little while after you wake up. Wake up soft and get hard a little while later.

"Damn bro, I thought the little guy died this morning, but it was just breakfast wood. He rose to smell the eggs."

by Epitemisis June 30, 2017

Morning wood

That feeling you get when you wake up and want to mine some trees in minecraft.

Mum, look at the size of the morning wood I have!

by ShampooDrinker September 13, 2021

Knock on wood

A playful yet gentle word describing the way the world takes the time to visually interpret the act of penetrating trees and foliage with one's erect penis.

India's tolerance regarding Knock on Wood was said to have decreased their population growth in the years 2020 to 2024.

by Pattifil August 2, 2022

Chopping wood

A term for jacking it off in the woods. Can also be a term for mastering while small children are watching.

Hey you chopping wood back there?

by Ianisanoggod December 7, 2016

Petrified Wood

a.k.a. erectile dysfunction. When a chub is too frightened (petrified) to cum out.

Vajona Jackson was ready for a hot night of boner-rockin' but her man's unit was too scared to go into the dark. Therefore, his petrified wood "layed" low, unable to rise and shine.

by vajona jackson-hewitt August 22, 2011

plain wood

When you're girlfriend gives you head, without any flavor or lotion. Flavor, basically. Like you know all those sex shops give you flavors an stuff. Like your girlfriend said last week. It's gross without strawberry.

I gave my boyfriend plain wood, but then I was like, this shit tastes gross!

by Dr.Claw! July 7, 2017

Sniff the wood

The act of giving a blow job with your nose instead of your mouth

He got really excited that I was going down him but was pleasantly surprised when I sniff the wood instead.

by KaitLivPhil August 24, 2014