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Gabriel Jesus

The best average player to grace a football pitch. HIs touch on the ball is mediocre but he can still steal the ball...and your girlfriend. FUCK YOU HES THE BEST
Ugly girl: WHo even is Gabriel Jesus?
Hot Girl: THE BEST PLAYER IN THE FUCCKING WORLD
by Lightskin Lovely April 5, 2022
mugGet the Gabriel Jesusmug.

Jesus Velocity

When a massive or difficult project is finished in a relatively short amount of time.
Luke McKinny, cracked.com Over three days, I saw a Beijing street torn up, disemboweled and resurfaced. The roadway was made whole at Jesus velocity
by Krashlia July 4, 2012
mugGet the Jesus Velocitymug.

Jesus on a stick

a weird food they sell at the Korean Presbyterian church down the street
Dude have you had the Jesus on a stick?
yeah man it tastes pretty good
by theczechspam May 9, 2018
mugGet the Jesus on a stickmug.

Sleazy Jesus

An deliciously strong alcoholic beverage meant to be chugged.

It consists of half Natural Light and half Sangria, and is finished off with a shot of vodka. After mixing the ingredients in a red solo cup, the drink is meant to be consumed extremely fast for the best end result. Sangria is used to represent the blood of jesus and the beer/vodka to make you sleazy.

The drink received its name from the sleazy jesus scene in the recent musical "Reefer Madness."
Holy Jeez, that Sleazy Jesus was damn good.

Another round!
by Otard June 27, 2008
mugGet the Sleazy Jesusmug.

Jesus's Knees

The holiest and most sexy knees you will ever see. They are powerful enough to kill half the universe if Jesus touches them together.
Person: "Oh my god, have you seen Jesus's Knees?"
Other Person: "No...?"
Jesus: "Hey look at my Knees!"
Both People: *Faints
by Supreme Comrade Stalin November 9, 2018
mugGet the Jesus's Kneesmug.

Rappin' for Jesus

A popular song made by Pastor Jim Colerick and Mary Sue Colerick who most likely fucks the people in his church but Well I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga
Oooooooo
He's a life-changer, miracle-arranger
Born to the virgin mom in a manger
Water to wine, he's a drink exchanger
And he died for your sins
I preach the word, that's my gig
And I rhyme better than Notorious BIG
Other emcees, I wish them well
But if you live in sin, you burn in hell
Now I'ma pass the mic to my lovely wife
She's a fly emcee and the light of my life
So to bust a rhyme without further ado
Take it away, Mary Sue!
Jesus Christ is my nigga
I am officially a Rappin' for Jesus Christian
by Go ring the durbell September 30, 2020
mugGet the Rappin' for Jesusmug.

Based Jesus

A certain individual who usually post funny, humerus jokes on the website's WorldStarHiphop comment section. While trying to dominate the top comment game, usually succeeding one comment at a time. You may catch a comment or two from this individual on every video posted on the website WorldStarHipHop.
Based Jesus ┼: Been a real nigga since 600 B.C
by Jesus Based Christ February 3, 2014
mugGet the Based Jesusmug.

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