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Traffic Jesus

A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.
Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."

Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."
by SeñorFrog January 23, 2017
mugGet the Traffic Jesusmug.

Jesus Cloud

When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.
Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!
by Ass Kicka January 30, 2012
mugGet the Jesus Cloudmug.

Skeet Jesus

When I person wanking, they blow their load onto a wall or bedshet, or your best friends mom. It makes the appearance of Jesus Christ himself.
Chip made a Skeet Jesus on Matt's mom!
by Holyswagness December 31, 2013
mugGet the Skeet Jesusmug.

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"
by Rexoto July 10, 2014
mugGet the Jesus Fistingmug.

Lesbian Jesus

An ethereal being, If you find a hot gay being, There is a chance that they are Lesbian Jesus. They lord over and watch over gays. You will know you have met Lesbian Jesus if they bless your fucking soul by saying "Gay gay homosexual gay." NOT ALL GAYS ARE LESBIAN JESUS.
Gay #1: ITS LESBIAN FUCKING JESUS
Gay #2: FUCK WE GOTTA BOW

Lesbian jesus is a gay being
by Lesbianjesusfolower#582 June 28, 2023
mugGet the Lesbian Jesusmug.

Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.
(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."
by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011
mugGet the Jesus Powersmug.

beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.
Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.
by Zc33 May 8, 2018
mugGet the beach jesusmug.

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