Omar’s theory of relativity

When you’re having a good time and being lit, time goes by hella fast, but when you’re bored af, time feels like it’s dragging on forever

Omar: yo, it’s been 50 minutes since we’ve been on the phone
Jailine: no fucking way! I swear it’s only been like 20
Omar: It must be Omar’s theory of relativity

Jailine: why are you talking about yourself in third person?

by Brun_Omars May 13, 2019

Same Name Theory

You are most likely ( well 85%) not being able to marry a person or wont love with their first letter of surname or English name, same with you.

Susannia Johnson most likely cant marry or won't like Sam Duthcerfiled. ( Same name theory)

by DefinationMan October 21, 2020

Flat Texas Theory

The theory in physics that the entire world is just one large Texas and that Texas is flat. The Flat Texas is propelled through space by jet thrusters fueled by propane and propane accessories. First published by the Arkansonian Flat "Motherfucking" Stanley

Those retards don't even believe in Flat Texas Theory

by Freedom Burrito August 23, 2019

g string theory

The law of physics that dictates that eyes will be more drawn to a g string than normal panties.

Teacher: "Class, the God particle..."
Ernie: "Whatever teach! Let's talk about g string theory and how Ashley's got it goin' on!!"
Teacher: "Right on, Ernie!"

by von groovy June 23, 2019

dale conspiracy theory

when you take two things that have no relation and mash them together

example: if you smoke weed, that must mean you cant drive
ex 2: if you like to party and get drunk, you must have had gay sex

you just put two things that have no relation together in a sentence, thats a dale conspiracy theory.

by rickpocalypse February 13, 2020

small dog theory

Similiar to the Hoop Earring Theory. The size of the dog correlates the level of a woman's promiscuity. The smaller the breed, the higher level of promiscuity.

"Hey man, I met this girl at the dog park. She's got a chihuahua, and she seems into me."
"She is into everyone man, its the Small Dog theory."

by PhinTheHumanZ February 3, 2018

Aged-Nut Theory

The theory that if a male does not masturbate or anything that causes them to nut then their nut will age. The long a male's nut ages the better it tastes for the female or male. A good comparison for nut will be wine. The longer a wine ages the better it tastes and the more of a luxury and delicacy it is.

Friend: "Hey man, you practice the Aged-nut Theory"
You: "Of course man, I'm trying to give my woman a delicious tasting nut"

by xemoo December 2, 2018