Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

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jesus slippers

flip flops or berkenstocks

you cant wear jesus slippers working in the forest

by bandana darren February 3, 2020

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Jesus Crackers

Communion bread. Only funnier and truer. Best used in the context of satirizing Christianity and in humoring the physical appearance of the bread.

Friend: "I went to church today"
Friend 2: "Ouu what'd you do?"
Friend: "We heard a homily and prayed and received communion!"
Friend 2: "yOu mEan yOu aTe jEsuS cRackErs"

by the Dan Dan that Can Can April 13, 2020

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rave jesus

An individual who dresses up as jesus and attends raves. Goes up to individuals having a bad reaction or "trip" on drugs and makes them feel safe.

Friend one: Damn bro, I was so mucked out last night! I saw god!
Friend two: Na dude, that was rave jesus.

by jghfcjvkhjkk January 27, 2019

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raped by jesus

when jesus comes down with spider people and rapes your grandma in the ass true fact if you commit too satan prepare the aking

i felt jesus in my ass i think i was raped by jesus

by dic kin ya momma bith April 20, 2017

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Jesus Perez is a guy who does not like to be called the real Jesus only jesus. He is really kind and will always be by your side. He might not be attractive but does have girls behind him. He is very smart and will not just help u but will give u answers. He will always try to make u smile and will always cheer u up.

Jesus: Hey there need some help
Kiesha: Yes
Jesus: I will not help u I will give u the answers
Kiesha: Thnx
Jesus: NP

Jesus Perez is smart

by JP 30071 October 17, 2020

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