That girl Asia is such a closet thot. She puts herself out on Instagram but doesn't really take dick
by Thotty111 August 5, 2016
Get the Closet thotmug. Closet Commando. A person who romanticizes military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
John boy talks a big game about his AR—15 and likes posing in his tactical vest but he’s just a closet commando
by Rook May 20, 2024
Get the closet commandomug. One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
by the mysterious j September 7, 2013
Get the closet candy crushermug. “Linda you sang great!”
“No it was horrible, I’m alright, it was just a side stage gig, thanks though”
“Don’t be such a closet cock Linda I saw you hog the mic at sound check belting and screaming, showing off for no reason”
“No it was horrible, I’m alright, it was just a side stage gig, thanks though”
“Don’t be such a closet cock Linda I saw you hog the mic at sound check belting and screaming, showing off for no reason”
by Pseudos January 3, 2019
Get the closet cockmug. rent a closet is slang for a self storage unit at a place that rents out storage units like the ones on the tv show storage wars as you see on the show people pay rent for their storage unit and if they stop paying rent the storage unit facility can have the contents of the storage unit auctioned off to recoup the lost revenue
john and his wife realized after they moved into their new house that they have too much stuff to put away so john’s wife suggested that they obtain a rent a closet to put their extra stuff
by Backstroke swimmer 24 January 7, 2023
Get the rent a closetmug. 
That party was so lame I had the chance to slip into their parent's bedroom and leave a closet Rembrandt.
by piGGman March 15, 2021
Get the Closet Rembrandtmug.