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mustiche 

A pseudo-sorta halfway collection of facial hair above the upper lip. Often referred to by earnest wannabes as a 'mustache', a mustiche is usually too sparse to be considered so.

This is the sort of facial hair commonly worn by teens in their first flush of facial hair growth, but it has in the past few decades seen a resurgence among hipsters as an ironic reference to porn stars and child molesters of the 70s.
That hipster tried to grow a beard, but all he managed was a mustiche.
mustiche by Mila Jake February 21, 2011
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mustachiraffe 

The creature that is created when a Mathena is cross-bred with that a giraffe. This creature holds great power and can stop menstrual cycles in women. The mustachiraffe's power and well-being lies within its uncanny mustache; without it, it is useless. The Jeffasaurus Rex is a similar being, but it is not quite as powerful.
That mustachiraffe has made me experience pre-menopausal symptoms and it has an impeccable affectation for groomed facial hair.
mustachiraffe by Q. Valintyne January 6, 2012

mustachagge 

A massage given to a person's mustache.
This morning he leaned in for a kiss and I said not until you've had your mustachagge!
mustachagge by glittersmith October 27, 2014

mustachup 

Any mix of mustard and ketchup. The preferred nomenclature over ketchtard.
Give me a double double animal style and don't be shy with the mustachup.
mustachup by mustachup August 6, 2019

Mustachio 

the best siege players in the world
Oh that man is so good he must be mustachio
Mustachio by Tuftylettuce January 14, 2021

frosty moustache 

When a gay man releases his specimen on his partner's moustache, giving it a fantastic frosty coating.
Guy 1: So how'd it go with Bruce last night?
Guy 2: What a night! First we had dinner, and then we went to his place and I got an amazing a frosty moustache!
frosty moustache by HippityHoff March 10, 2016

Velvet Moustache 

A horizontal landing strip, usually groomed to look like a moustache
I only fool around with a girl if she's got a velvet moustache!
Velvet Moustache by Goose9 July 14, 2016