Numpty 

Someone who confidently asserts themselves towards a false truth in the presence of others. Even when the rest of the people there know that they are completely wrong.

Given the choice of a shovel or a ladder to get out of a hole, they have dug themselves, a numpty would confidently choose the shovel!

Numpty by Marc Hone April 9, 2006

ruptured nuptials 

When a marriage or relationship has has either ended or in serious jeopardy.

"Dude, what's up with Bill lately, he's awfully moody."
"I know, I think he's got ruptured nuptials."

ruptured nuptials by billigan August 3, 2007

numptwell

noun. A person who is exceedingly good at being a numptywithout trying. Does not apply to people who feign numptyness. Can be used affectionately

Bob was a real numptwell, not a numpty.

numptwell by Anonimous moose September 26, 2006

post-nuptial agreement 

invented by the royal family of Denmark in 2006 as an insurance policy against the greedy spendthrift Crown Princess Mary. The agreement supplants the prenup signed by Mary and Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, removing from the "princess" the right to occupy one of the family's fabled palaces.

Crown Princess Mary's family, the Boganson tribe of Hobart, are devastated by the news of the post-nuptial agreement - it sets back their designs on the contents of the Danish treasury...

post-nuptial agreement by Miggly December 6, 2006

Numpty 

A person of very low intelligence

"She is an absolute Numpty"

Numpty by Young Team September 18, 2006

numpty nuts 

insulting a person of less than average intelligence

haw numpty nuts whit u aw aboot

numpty nuts by geordie anderson October 27, 2006

numptee 

a properly clueless cunt with a vacant look

dont look at me like a numptee

numptee by Solja July 16, 2003