One handed breakfast 

Aiming the ejaculate from your penis during masturbation into your own mouth and then swallowing.

That dude thinks he's a perpetual-motion machine! He thinks he can just live off one handed breakfasts!

One handed breakfast by Clive Moonfruit March 6, 2014

Dry-Handed 

Receiving a vigorous hand job but unable to nut one out. Just a lot of yanking and total regret.

Carrie finally gave me a handy last night. How was it? Not good. Totally Dry-Handed.

Dry-Handed by Eaton Holgoode March 29, 2017

hacked off 

pissed off, angry, frustrated.

What's the matter with Bob, he sounds hacked off?

hacked off by acunninglinguist June 27, 2005

Mr. Hankey 

A talking piece of poo that comes out of the toilet during Christmas to give presents to children that eat plenty of fiber. He will only appear to the people that believe in him.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore vicariously he loves you
I can make a Mr. Hankey too!

Mr. Hankey by Deathgrind > you October 31, 2007

caught red-handed

To be caught in the act of committing a crime, with the evidence there for all to see.

honey came in and she caught red-handed
creeping with the girl next door

caught red-handed by metheteen August 30, 2010

Left-handed cannoli

A sexual act in which a male receives manual stimulation (i.e. handjob) in the inside seat of a booth in an Italian restaurant while the performer of the act continues to eat.

I went for the spaghetti, but I stayed for the left-handed cannoli.

Left-handed cannoli by Charizard Queen August 19, 2014

Right Handed Sinestro 

When having sex with somebody from behind, the receiving partner reaches back with their right arm and forcibly attempts to jam their fist up the ass of the giving partner. Named after Thaal Sinestro, the arch nemesis of the Green Lantern, the name is a reference to the fact Sinestro wears his power ring on his left hand so his right hand is free to penetrate people anally, as most supervillains often do with their free hands.

guy 1: I was having sex with this girl last night and I stuck it in her ass without telling her first.

guy 2: hahahaa what did she do?

guy 1: she wasn't happy so she gave me a right handed sinestro to get even.

guy 2: Oh man that sucks!

guy 1: ...I kind of liked it (._.)

Right Handed Sinestro by balooboo May 7, 2011