Analogue rectal exam 

While your finger is inserted into your ladies anus, you reach around and flip her clitoris about with the corner of a cassette tape.

Descartes: "What did you do last night bro?"

Pascal: "Gave my girlfriend an analogue rectal exam."

Descartes: "Nice. So what did you serve up?"

Pascal: "Black Sabbath of course"

Analogue rectal exam by squeakyfromme February 21, 2015

auto cat rectal

Autocorrect. From an early and possibly apocryphal iPhone example.

Damn you, auto cat rectal.

auto cat rectal by thermidor August 21, 2014

Cranial Rectal Syndrome 

A medical condition where a moronic person has their Cranium lodged/inserted through their own Rectal cavity. The Cranium can get as far as the end of the Duodenum, which has been cited in a number of cases. Often, the condition is rendered temporarily, but sometimes the disorder can be lifelong and permanent. When treated, the patient may need the Perineum sutured from the initial Cranial penetration of the Rectal orifice.

Many people with Cranial Rectal Syndrome live their lives oblivious to the fact that they have the condition. Early prevention is vital. Talk to your doctor today if you think you may present any symptoms CRS.

Cranial Rectal Syndrome by Rick Rock And Ya Don't Stop December 9, 2008

cranial rectal proximity syndrome

corporate-speak or PC phrase to describe someone who's got their head stuck squarely up their ass.

Not sure what's going on with Joe today - he's acting like a real jerk. Maybe he's suffering from cranial rectal proximity syndrome

cranial rectal proximity syndrome by Annakaleia September 30, 2011

Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome 

Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome (also known as Anal-Cranial Entanglement Syndrome, or ACES) is a disorder which is characterized by someone who is incapable of performing a simple task due to pure stupidity or an apparent misplacement and, therefore, disuse of their cerebellum and cerebrum.

Esp. applies when someone has one job and cannot complete it properly, if at all.

Karen suffers from such a severe case of Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome, she has a visible tan-line around her neck.

I’ve run into a catch-22 due to two of the people I rely on having ACES.

Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome by Dominus Pollux February 6, 2019

cranial rectal inversion 

nice way of saying you have your head in your ass. also known as H.I.A.S (head in ass syndrome)

"I know that our anniversary was today, but, I was having a cranial rectal inversion and I will make up for it this weekend."

cranial rectal inversion by grant24 May 15, 2008

Mach 10 Rectal 

Having anal sex with someone

Man, those guys are going home for some mach 10 rectal

Mach 10 Rectal by The People of Port Hope April 20, 2005