Take my Jesus

Take my peace or sanity, piss me off, make me lose my shit.

1. She was all up in my face trying to take my Jesus.

Note: can also be used as “lose my Jesus”. Ex- If he doesn’t shut up I’m gonna lose my Jesus!

Take my Jesus by Jilly845 June 7, 2018

50 shades of jesus 

A sex story between Jesus and his followers made by a sinning fuck face. and who also wants to piss of his/her parents because they are christian.

Hey did you read the sequel of 50 shades of Jesus? "50 more shades of jesus"

50 shades of jesus by Blue_Amore June 8, 2018

Size of Jesus 

Describing an object or thing as really big. Size of Jesus is a unit of measurement

"I saw a big spider in the hallway last night"
"How big was it?"
"Mate it was the size of Jesus"

Size of Jesus by Normieroxanne July 8, 2018

south park jesus 

The one and only true savior. Has a very popular cable access show in South Park Colorado. Is known to smite sinners with a M-4 assault rifle.

Praise the greatness that is South Park Jesus!!!

south park jesus by sicmyduck June 26, 2019

jumpers for jesus 

Someone who is an Evangelical Christian that is overly enthusiastic about their faith. Usually one to put down those that do not share the same beliefs as them.

Bro, did you see that ruling on the new abortion ban? That is sure to get the Jumpers for Jesus going.

jumpers for jesus by 31817689137 December 20, 2019

Hooker's for Jesus 

A group of prositutes who sold themselves for Jesus. They were very successful.

Wanna handjob? $10 from the hooker's for Jesus. Bible reading in the alley.

Hooker's for Jesus by Iam not Elmer Fudd February 2, 2020

House hunting with Jesus

A near death experience where you are so close to death that you are picking out your final eternal home with your metaphorical savior.

It took the paramedics forever to get Jake back. Guy was house hunting with Jesus for a 20 solid minutes.

House hunting with Jesus by Kungfu Panda Express December 10, 2020