Goggles Off

A term marking the end of douche-baggery. After one has removed his or her goggles--either literally or figuratively--he or she is relieved of acting like, looking like, or feeling like a jackass. Generally used as a word of advice.

For literal situations:

S: Hey dude, I like your outift, especially your winter hat and welding goggles around your neck. It's silly and cool 'cause there's no need for either of those things right now!

B: Yeah, I think it's pretty cool too. You really like it?

S: No, take your goggles off, you look like a motherfucker.

For everyday "goggle" situations:
Perhaps you're at a party...

S: Hey, you're acting like a real ass... maybe this should be your last drink, 'cause you don't wanna be "that guy."

B: Don't tell me what to do! I'll drink more just to spite you.

S: Take your goggles off, man.

Goggles Off by hellocurly2 January 1, 2011

goggles coroika 

The ridiculously stupid main character of Coroika (aka the Splatoon manga). He pantses people (most commonly Rider) for some codforsaken reason and consumes pickled plums. On the ridiculous Team Blue who always wins.

Some people belive he doesn't deserve his plot armor.

Diver: "Why didn't you invite Goggles to the party?"
Aloha: "He would pants EVERYONE."
Diver: "Yeah,"

Someone: "Goggles coroika is stupid."

goggles coroika by your_enby.frenemy November 26, 2023

Fanon Goggles 

When people get really emotionally intense about something when in reality there's nothing interesting happening.
When people have read so much fanfiction that they begin applying all these intense emotions from the fictional universe to things that are happening in real life, which in reality are probably just really boring and uneventful.

Person 1: "Why does she always make weird and random Doctor Who references?"

Person 2: "It's called Fanon Goggles."

Fanon Goggles by danisntonfire March 6, 2014

Desert Goggles 

When a service member deploys to the desert and has sexual relations with an unattractive female. Being in the desert for such long periods of time forces the service member to have sexual relations with a female he normally wouldnt consider state-side. A girl who is usually a 2 or 3 will be a 6 or 7 after months of being in the desert.

Soldier 1: Dude, did you hear Sgt John is banging Sgt Jane?

Soldier 2: What?! Shes hiddeous!

Soldier 1: He must have desert goggles.

Soldier 2: Well, He has been deployed for a while.

Desert Goggles by RedRocket02 April 4, 2010

Cum Goggles 

Large framed glasses that many males find extremely attractive. At the back of his mind, all he wants to do is release a heaping, steaming load of cum all over those bad boys.

1) "Damn you see that shawty come in with those cum goggles on?"

"Yeah looking hella fine, Imma need to bust a nut all over them."

2) "Man you serious....she's getting Lasik? Good bye to the reign of the cum goggles."

Cum Goggles by Trust_The_Process May 2, 2019

speed goggles 

When one's ability to rationally determine someone's attractiveness is altered by his or her prowess at running (how fast they are). The speed goggles phenomena results in a direct correlation between fast track times (speed) and sexual attractiveness, and has been linked with many skinny, pasty young boys getting laid.

The term is derived from "beer goggles", where the attractiveness altering agent is athletic ability, not alcohol.

Guy #1: Dude... why is Jane so obsessed with that guy who won OFSAA? He has chicken legs and wears flappy short shorts. Not even good-looking!

Guy #2: Must be speed goggles...

Guy #1: My God! I'd better start working on that 4 min mile...

speed goggles by speedgoggles April 19, 2010

iranian ski goggles 

When you place your Persian nut sack gently into the eye sockets of your girl.

Ben - Hey Harold, I gave my girl Iranian Ski Goggles last night.
Harold - Ben, you're my Ayatollah!

iranian ski goggles by Mil3Druid3 June 3, 2016